“If you didn’t get what you need at that age, you spend your life searching for that thing based upon what happened [to you],” she said on the Mental Health Coalition’s 1-2-1 series
Oprah Winfrey is working to understand how past trauma has affected her overall mental health — and she encourages others to do the same.
Winfrey recently sat down with her co-author, Dr. Bruce Perry, for the Mental Health Alliance’s 1-2-1 series. In a virtual discussion hosted exclusively by PEOPLE, the two learn about their new book, What Happened to You?, and how Winfrey continues to overcome her own struggles.
“I started thinking about what happened to me in my life to make me the person I am today,” Winfrey said. Why do I have these fears [and] anxieties that I have carried around for so long? That question was invaluable to me.” anyone interested in personal development [and] self-awareness.”
Perry said understanding a person’s past is “essential” when understanding mental health. And Winfrey points out that the brains of individuals whose needs were not met as children are shaped “differently” than those of others. Who did that?
“What I had learned is if you didn’t get what you need at that age, you spend your life searching for that thing based upon what happened [to you],” she said. “Or, as Bruce says in our book, What Happened to You?, it’s what happened to you and [it’s] equally as important as what didn’t happen to you.”
Winfrey said their book isn’t about placing blame, but rather about helping readers gain “a better understanding” of their respective behaviors and use that knowledge to move forward.
“In my case, why [do] you have this disease to please?” she said. “Why [do[ you have a problem in confrontation? Or why [are you] so confrontational?”
Winfrey has been open about her own trauma over the years. In 1986, she came forward on her talk show about being abused as a child. At the time, Winfrey said she had been molested by her cousin, an uncle and a family friend as a young girl.
During an appearance on The Dr. Oz Show last month, she opened up about a previous domestic violence incident between her grandparents that resulted in her inability to feel safe while sleeping.
“After that, my grandmother put a chair underneath the doorknob and some tin cans around the chair,” she recalled. “And that is how we slept every night. I’m sleeping, I always slept with, listening for the cans. Listening for what happens if that doorknob moves.”