Dandelions: A Silent Tribute

Advertisement ASTRO’s Grief and a Sense of Responsibility

Advertisement A Final Goodbye

Full Translation of the Letter Kim Sae-ron Sent to Moon Bin

April 27, 2023 I’m writing a new page in my diary.Bin, I miss you so much… I don’t even know where to begin, or what to say.

There were times when I was so exhausted, I thought about ending my life.And in the midst of that, I heard about you…More than anyone, I understand how heavy and lonely that decision must have been.So I couldn’t bring myself to ask you, “Why?” I just couldn’t.

But do you know? That day… for some reason, I really wanted to see you.I was going to call you, but I didn’t.Now I regret it.Maybe I couldn’t have stopped you, but if only…If only I could’ve held you back for one more day, just one more day…

If I make it through today, tomorrow will come.I kept telling myself that, to survive, to make it through each day.Could you have done that too?

My emotions have been all over the place.There were moments when I thought, “Should I just follow you…”Every day, every moment feels like it’s shaking.I was so worn out…That I couldn’t hold you more, couldn’t be with you more.

Don’t be lonely, okay?If you ever feel lonely, come visit me in my dreams.Then, I’ll sit beside you and listen to everything — like you used to do for me.

We’ve been together for so long.You, Chanhee… everyone felt like family to me, always there like it was the most natural thing.I felt relieved seeing ASTRO debut and receive so much love.

But then I thought: I need to protect Sua, and the other members too.So… I decided to delay my own ending, just for a little longer.

Sanha said he’d protect me.He was the one I worried about the most — our youngest.And now, he’s grown into such a mature adult.

Then…Jin-woo tries to smile through it,Myung-jun hyung,Dong-min broke down,Min-hyuk remains strong…Seeing them like that… my heart shattered.

Why did it have to be you?This sadness, this pain… it’s already too much for me to bear — why did it have to take you too?

I want to grieve you freely,I want to talk about you, remember you…But I’m scared — scared that my existence might somehow hurt you, or taint your departure.Even now… I’m still afraid.

My brother, my friend, our Bin…We went through so much together since we were young.I thought we had finally achieved our dreams, and that things would be okay.

But me — the version of me stuck and unable to move forward,being buried under vague accusations from the media and the industry…I couldn’t meet everyone’s expectations, and I ended up disappointing even myself.

I chose this life, this career, so I must take responsibility.My family looks only to me. So do my fans.But I know… you must’ve felt the same.Right?

The moment we achieve our dreams, the pain comes too.And being someone who can’t talk about it, who keeps everything hollow inside —that wasn’t just me, was it?

We got through each day like that together…If only we — just once — could have opened up completely,cried our hearts out together.

If only I had told you, “I’m so tired…”Even now, I haven’t been able to say it.If only I had pulled all of us together and let it all out…

We didn’t want to worry anyone,So we just kept acting strong, pretending we were okay. Right?

Sleep well, Bin.Wherever you go, the path you walk will shine bright.I respect and support everything that is you.You were the most amazing person.

I’m sorry I didn’t get to tell you that more often,Sorry I didn’t hug you longer.

I love you, Bin.See you again soon… I’ll be waiting for you

— Your younger sister, your friend of 18 years —